Coaching, making strong demands to our clients

Any coaching process starts by spending some time working out what the goal of the customer is, gathering information on our client’s demands and wishes, but, what happens when the objective itself proposed by the customer is just so-so, nothing even really motivating for him?.  It is up to us as a professional coach to make demands to the client so that he does his best and excels himself. We aim high and demand a lot from him, working in a way that he reaches his goal but trying to make him achieve a better one than the initial proposal, always giving him of course complete freedom to reject or change it if he so wishes. Starting with a high and ambitious goal is a good way to kick start the coachee’s internal resources, energy and motivation.

One way to work out how to suggest difficult and demanding goals is to first establish in which situation the customer finds himself. Then we, as a coach, can see which goal will make our client reach a little higher than he was planning to. We have to ask ourselves what the client needs to hear and then say it, and then make a relevant demand. The next step in the coaching process is to ask the client to carry out a series of actions related to the goal and to check that they are in agreement and ready to commit themselves.

Consider a couple of examples to understand this in practical terms:

# 1: Our client spends more than he earns and is in debt . The client suggests a goal that involves earning twice as much.

• Message: “If you’d earn twice as much money, you run the risk of spending twice as much, and being in debt for twice as much if you continue to operate in this way. The first thing to do is break this habit and stop spending more than you can afford.”
• Demand: “Stop spending more than you earn and implement a plan for repaying what you owe. ”
• Action: “Reduce your outgoings by half, starting this month. Think about how you could do it. Write a plan of action and send it to me. Is that ok?”

# 2: Our customer spends all of his time working (work first, pleasure when he has time).

• Message: “What is the point of always working when you can’t enjoy it? The best way to recharge your batteries is to do things you love and that fill you with energy.”
• Demand: “Think of activities that fill you with positive energy and that you find pleasurable and put them into practice in your daily life.”
• Action: “List 10 sources of pleasure  and put at least one into practice every day. Send me a message when you have compiled the list and next week tell me what you’ve done. Ok?”

Hopefully, by making strong demands of our client he will be more motivated to achieve something significant and to improve himself. Of course, in coaching, we always have to take into account the client’s opinion, and, if our suggestions do not seem appropriate, adapt the message and find a demand that satisfies the client and makes him feel comfortable, committed and motivated.